Morning Cardio--a Rant

Most bodybuilders insist that the only way to burn fat is to do cardio first thing in the morning, on a totally empty stomach. You can't peruse a body-building website without running across this topic.

Jillian Michaels, in her best-seller "Master Your Metabolism," contests this theory. She says starved cardio depletes muscle mass and recommends having some protein half an hour before breaking a sweat.

I say starved cardio not only depletes muscle mass, but makes for a very cranky girl. Believe me, I try. And I am sick of feeling guilty for not rolling out of bed at 5:00 a.m. and sprinting through Hendersonville like some psycho sweat junkie.

It has nothing to do with stress, lethargy, or thwarted life ambitions. People are individuals--unique, with differing personalities and differing lifestyles. Some people are not morning people. I'm just not a morning person. I don't even like to TALK first thing in the morning, let alone sweat.

What I am doing is WORKING for me. I have lost about 50 pounds so far, and every bit of it was done through hard work and healthy living. If it ends up taking an extra month or two to reach my goal because I won't sleep in jogging shoes, so as to reach the track sooner, then so be it. That will just be an extra two months that I get more sleep (which, I may add, keeps the skin young and healthy, so it's a win-win).

Tempted

"Will it tempt you if I order a pizza?"

Most of the time, I view my husband as a reasonable, intelligent person. Then he asks that question, leading me to wonder if his brain has been snatched by aliens and replaced by a pizza oven.

I have slipped up here and there, but, on the whole, I am doing great. I have already lost 10 pounds--10 pounds which will come back IMMEDIATELY if I am trapped in a room with spicy, aromatic pizza.

My solution is to keep the cupboard, fridge, and coupon collection free of junk food, processed food, or anything that tastes better than oatmeal. Problem: this only works if the dieter lives alone, preferably in a remote mountain shack without refrigeration or a telephone. Or a husband. Especially without a husband.

My husband and I both try to eat healthy, but he is a tall, muscular man who weighs about 100 pounds more than me. So, due to that cruel twist of nature that gives men the ability to eat their own weight in bread and STILL fit into a medium t-shirt, his cheat days are a lot more fun than mine.

We discovered early on that when cheat day rolls around, HE can eat a large Papa John's supreme with hot wings and not gain an ounce. I, on the other hand, can nibble a pepper out of the box and spend the next day with a visible roll of fat around my middle, announcing to the world that I am a cheater.

I have a new strategy to keep from cheating. I try to keep low-cal snacks on hand that my husband doesn't really like. Artificial crab meat, for one. You can get a package for about $2.00, and it's great to snack on when you are trapped in a room that smells really, really, really, really tasty.

If that fails, go to www.urbanoutfitters.com and look through the clothes that are still too small and will ALWAYS be too small if you slip up and gobble half a pizza. I have my eye on an awesome pink dress that has been marked down from $70 to $19. Now, THAT is tempting!

2nd Weigh-In

Lost 5 pounds. Feeling pretty good about that.

Here's the Beef

One step outdoors, and I was sure: it is DEFINITELY September. The first cool day of the year is always a shock to me. I hate cold weather.

The only antidote to chilly weather is, well, chili. Or beef stew. For those of us vigilantly watching carb intake, the idea of making beef stew seems like the impossible dream. It is, after all, mostly potatoes.

Remedy: Skip the potatoes. Replace them with button mushrooms. Believe me, it tastes much better, and you'll wonder why you ever used potatoes in the first place. Oh, and the nutritional value of mushrooms vs. potatoes ... do I really have to expound on that?

We made slow-cooker beef stew last week and froze half of it to eat this weekend.

Obviously, you can use any recipe. Here's what we did:

McCormick's slow cooker beef stew seasoning packet (high in sodium, so don't add much salt)
1 pound of any lean cut of beef, cut into pieces and pounded out with a meat tenderizer
5 cups of carrots, celery, onions, button mushrooms, and any vegetable you like
A crock-pot with some water in it (figure it out. This isn't brain surgery.)
salt and pepper to taste (did I mention the seasoning packet is pretty salty?)

The stew was full of flavor and devoid of guilt.

This post is full of ingredients and devoid of updates.

So, let's get down to business. How is the shred going? Just fine, thank you. My arms, back, legs, and muscles I never knew existed, are sore. I think I have a sprained earlobe muscle from listening to Jillian's merciless reminders that "You don't get to have a 20-minute workout and take a break!" In addition to the shred, I am (supposedly) doing strength training at the gym 4 or 5 times a week.

I said "supposedly" because I have to admit that the past week was not my best. I was sick Monday, and my birthday was Wednesday. I am back on track now, though.

Last night, I ran through an amazing legs routine at the gym. I am up to 90 pounds on the leg press, 50 pounds on leg extensions, and 40 pounds on the ... lying on stomach, backwards leg curl thingy. I never can remember what it's called, but it is killer on glutes. I do a circuit of 12 reps on each machine, 3 times. As recommended by this month's "Shape" magazine, I move immediately from one to the next, with no rest until the set is finished.

Then I went home and spent 30 minutes on the shred. No, scratch that. I caved before it was completely finished.

I hope it pays off. Tomorrow is my 2nd weigh-in.

Breaks. Bleh.

My routine has been disrupted by the onset of a fever.

Normally, I would have egg whites and oatmeal for breakfast, a protein shake 2 hours later, and lunch around 11:30.

TODAY, all I can really eat is canned soup. It is 11:30, and I just want to sleep all day.

But I'm supposed to do the 30-day shred, followed by a trip to the gym to do my legs circuit.

In the past, I have been the QUEEN of inventing reasons why I "can't" work out or eat healthy. Like, "It's a holiday. It's my birthday. I'm sad. I'm lonely. I deserve it. Class stresses me out. Etc."

Today, I am learning a lesson on when to actually give myself a break and not feel guilty for it. I tend to obsess and do things a bit over-the-top.

So, although you will NOT see a Papa John's delivery car out front anytime today, the protein and veggies routine is getting a little bit of a break, and I'm going to spend my gym hour lying flat on my back with a good book and a temperamental kitten named Mouse.

I just wish this break was more fun.

I Begin To Shrink

It is said that people who live through traumatic events tend to comfort themselves with food. This is why all the contestants on NBC's hit show "The Biggest Loser" are interviewed at some point along the way, weeping uncontrollably and sharing whatever traumatic event (death of a loved one, losing a job, etc) incited their ballooning waistlines. I am a firm believer in the theory that trauma leads to weight gain.

This theory explains why most people begin gaining weight the day after their wedding. Apparently, the average person finds his/her own wedding to be the most traumatic day of their life. Either that, or they assume that it doesn't matter anymore. Or they are just too busy putting towels in the dryer and buying toilet paper to take time to work out.

According to my research (okay, so I Googled a few statistics), the average newlywed gains between 10 and 20 pounds within the first year of marriage. That's a lot.

I don't really want to add to that statistic, so, after six months of marriage, I am ready to take charge and reverse that number.

This blog will follow my journey to total fitness. Destination: Drop 20 pounds and reduce my body fat level to around 15%. Motivation: my first Christmas card photo with my husband. Inspiration: Jillian Michaels (duh)

I'll be using my local gym in addition to using Jillian's 30-Day Shred. 1200 - 1500 calories per day, with higher calorie days on the weekends.

I'm learning as I go, so I will update often.